Finding Calm as a Busy Parent

Finding calm can seem impossible when balancing parenting, work and everyday life. Looking at your weekly schedule, the concept of Slow Living can feel unattainable. But our body and mind can only take so much. It's important we look after ourselves for our own wellbeing, and for our family.

It might make sense to push ourselves to do more now, and it might seem there is no other option. But if we reach a point of burnout, then it will be harder to help ourselves and those around us. It’s important in recognise the signs that you are getting tired and run down. And to take steps to prevent burnout from happening.

Teach children independence from a young age

Quite often, we try to do everything for our children. In part because we feel that is our role and because it creates more work and time to teach them do things they are not yet confident in doing - like preparing their own food or making their own bed.

However, teaching children from a young age is essential for their development and means that once they master these tasks, we won’t need to do them ourselves. It will help create more space in our day.

On a weekend when you have more time, show your child how to do a particular skill. Make it a focus during the weekend so they have time to master it - and make a little mess! Practice patience throughout the week as they try the skill more frequently. The sooner they master it, the more confident they feel, and the one less task you will have to do yourself.

Prioritise sleep

Sleep is essential for all ages. When we are sleep deprived, it can affect our mood and emotions, ability to concerntrate, our eating habits and so on. If it’s not possible to go to bed at a regular time each night, then prioritise going to bed early one night a week. This can esspecially help if you have young children who wake through the night. An early night can help replenish time missed and help your body recharge.

Learn how to cook simple nourishing meals

Since having children, I have let go of cooking fancy time-consuming meals. It’s nice to do occasionally, but most nights of the week, our meals are simple. Whether it’s a protein with vegetables or simple pasta, our meals are nourishing and quick to prepare and make. I don’t often cook recipes with lengthly ingredient lists. I'll also rotate meals that the family like from week to week.

For a handful of simple, nourishing recipes, my eCookbook is there to help you.

Quite often, I make a large portion so that we have leftovers for another night of the week when we have sports commitments for the children. Or spend a little time on Sunday meal prepping for busy weeks.

Talk with your employer about adjusting your work hours

When I first went back to work after being a mostly stay at home parent for a number of years, I felt overwhelmed. Initially, our children were in afterschool care. My son struggled to fit in his homework. Making dinner was a rush. I was cranky and incredibly stressed trying to keep up with our growing list of things to do as the kids progressed through school.

I approached my employer about adjusting my hours so that I could work an extra day but shorter hours during each day. It means that I can pick the children up when school finishes. They have time to do their homework and a breather before heading out for after school activities. It has helped us as a family to function smoother throughout the week.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, can you adjust your work hours in a way that helps you and your family? Whether working part time, a shorter workday, or days working at home - these little adjustments can free up time and benefit all family members.

Create space to do something you love - just for you

When you care so much for others, you may neglect your passions. This time of play and personal creation is so beneficial for all of us. Is there an evening your partner can put the children to bed so you can attend a yoga or art class? Could you wake slightly earlier to give yourself uninterrupted time to do something you love, like reading a book or watching the sun rise?

It needn’t take away too much time from your week. But these little spaces of time to yourself will help you recharge and remind you that you have passions and interests outside of the family.

Move your body

Exercise helps reduce stress and keeps us feeling better within our bodies. When we feel good inside, this will affect how we react to daily stressors and how we interact with those we love.

Do you have time in the morning for a brisk walk around the neighborhood? Could you fit in a number of strength exercises spaced throughout the day? On weekends, could you head out with the family for a walk through a park or along a river?

Exercise doesn’t have to be a huge time consuming commitment. Just 15-30 minutes a day can help you feel better within.

Encourage quiet time on weekends

In our home, we have what we call Quit Time on weekends. The children used to nap during this time, but as they have grown it has become more like quiet play in their bedrooms.

This time allows my husband and I to rest and recharge for a little bit in the middle of the day, and encourages the children to find something to do away from screens. As our son is now 11 years old, the days of this are limited. But it has been so good over the years to help us get some rest and quiet during the day.

Take time to pause

Sometimes, what we need to do most is pause from what we are doing and be within a moment. When rushing around frantically to do everything we need to do to get children out the door to school, taking a moment to pause and breathe can be enough to bring our stress level down.

Inbetween packing lunchboxes, pause, and look out the window. Take in the sunshine and sights of the morning. On the school commute, enjoy the pause while sitting in traffic. When kids are dawdling or procrastinating, and you're getting frustrated - pause. Remind yourself of their age and enjoy being the spectator in their little lives where time doesn’t seem to matter.

Life can feel incredibly stressful and fast paced at times. It can feel like you’re sprinting to get through the day. Making little adjustments throughout the week can create pockets of space here and there, which in time, will help you feel calmer within.