Learning to Manage Anxiety
Most of us feel will feel anxious at one point in our lives. Some more often than others. I experience anxiety myself. And as I’m experiencing with my seven year old daughter - anxiety can start from a young age. It’s not a nice feeling. We feel somewhat unsafe in the world and within ourselves.
It’s important to understand that it’s human nature to feel anxiety and that you are not abnormal or the only one feeling this way. While we can’t really get rid of anxiety, we can learn skills to manage it.
What is anxiety?
Anxiety is when you have difficulty managing your fears and worries about the future. We could experience anxiety when we are uncertain about life and our current situation. When we crave certainty, but life feels unstable. Or when we feel dissatisfied with our situation or ourselves. When we experience anxiety, our mind is racing, and we caught up in a continuous loop of worry.
When anxiety reaches a point where it is interfering with your daily life and wellbeing, then please do talk with someone. There are many people who can help with anxiety, like your doctor, a psychiatrist, psychologist or counsellor. Understanding what anxiety feels like can also help you take steps to managing it as best as you can.
Instead of running from anxiety and coping with distractions like food, alcohol, shopping or drugs, leaning into the feeling without judgement will help you move through it and reach a calmer state of mind.
Steps to help manage anxiety
Notice how you feel in your body. Are your palms sweaty? Do you feel tight in the shoulders? Is your heart beating faster? Be mindful of how your body feels when anxiety appears.
Bring attention to your breath. Take a slow, deep breath through your nose and let your tummy expand with the air. Breathe out gently through your mouth. When you breathe in, imagine you are bringing calm and peace into your body. When you breathe out, imagine the tension releasing with the breath. Repeat for five counts.
Look at your anxious thoughts like they are a cloud. Thoughts are temporary and come and go. We have happy thoughts, and we have troubling thoughts. Understand that you are not your thoughts, and those thoughts will drift away. Acknowledge the worrying thoughts as they are - just thoughts - and imagine the dark cloud drifting away.
Bring attention to your senses. Notice five things you can feel - the clothes on your body, the chair you are sitting on, or the feeling of a pen in your hand. Notice how they feel against your body. Are they soft? Or hard and firm? Notice four things you can see - the blue sky outside, the wriggling toes of your child, or the sunshine reflecting on a window. Notice three things you can hear - the sounds of wind passing through trees, the trickling of water from the tap, or the hum of cars in the distance. Notice two things you can smell - the smell of fresh cut grass or the lingering of coffee in the office. Notice one thing you can taste - the toothpaste after brushing your teeth or the subtle taste of your lunch.
Gentle movement can help take you from an anxious state to a calmer, more relaxed state. A gentle walk in nature, slow stretches or Tai chi, gardening, swimming or dancing are forms of movement that are gentle on the body and help us move anxious energy away. Draw attention to your body as you move. Notice how the air or water feels against your skin. Feel your feet making contact with the ground.
When you reach a calmer state of mind, zoom out and look at what is creating the anxiety. Reframe negative thoughts into thoughts that are more positive and helpful. For example, if you are worrying about the outcome of a decision, remind yourself that making a decision is a step forward in your growth. That even if it's not the best decision, you will learn something about yourself and the world around you.
Anxiety is not a nice feeling to experience. It takes time and patience to learn how to cope with it. Understanding that anxiety is part of the human experience, and that like happiness or nervousness, anxiety is a feeling that comes and goes, will help you move through it more smoothly and cope better when it appears again.